Should My Aspiring Content Creator Friend Stop Exploiting People for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?